Yes, my friends, it’s true, I’ve released 43 pounds since I started my new regime the day after Memorial Day.  That’s 43 pounds in three months.  All with eating whatever I wanted, no bariatric surgery, no starving myself, and no exercising (well . . . not yet, I know that will come in time). 

I’d say that’s a pretty darn good way to spend my summer!

When I started this I couldn’t look at the whole picture, it was simply too overwhelming so I set up a first goal to release 50 pounds.  Since I know it’s important to set clear goals, my intention was that it be “mostly belly fat”.  That’s where I need to release it most.  However I said “mostly” because I wanted to stay open minded and trust my body to release it from wherever it needs to come off me first.

So I’m almost to my first goal and I admit it feels really wonderful.  My clothes are all getting big, or at lease very loose and comfortable, and I feel much better.  I’m also starting to see the beginning evidence of a female shape to my body again.

This should give you some indication as to how huge I was/am.  43 pounds gone and I’ve not really gone down a whole size, I’m still wearing the clothes I was, they just fit me much better.  Not to downplay how important letting go of 43 pounds is, because it’s wonderful.  I look much, much different/better when I look in the mirror.  However, I still have lots and lots of pounds to release.

So anyone who thinks that the 20, 40, 60, 80, 100+ extra pounds they see in the mirror is intimidating, well darlings, don’t sweat it.  Even after 43 pounds, I still have more to release than you do, and if I can do it, so can you!!!

The surprise part however is that I’ve attracted/created one little glitch. 

See for years I’ve had this huge belly.  Think of 9 months pregnant all the time, or a beer belly extraordinaire.  I have one of those belly’s that people see on someone else and they go “tisk, tisk, what a shame.  How did she ever let herself get that way?” 

There’s a medical term for it, but I honestly find the term so repulsive and degrading I wouldn’t use it if my life depended upon it.  I spent a very long time being ashamed of my belly.  Lowering my eyes when someone would look at me with ridicule in theirs.  Wishing it would just go away.  Wondering how it got so big, when it felt like I blinked and went from overweight to huge.  I blame it for causing the back pain I’ve experienced for the last few years.  I knew carrying the huge weight of pure fat on my front caused excess strain to my back.  Yes, I had lots of negative feelings about it,  not the least of which were my feelings of helplessness on how I could ever get “rid of it”. 

Eventually though with Abraham I learned to look at my massive belly and see it as positive evidence of my sensational creative power.  I created something rare in this world of six pack abs, navel rings and flat bikini/Speedo stomachs.  Though  I created it mostly unconsciously, I eventually learned to take creative responsibility for it none the less.  It’s my body, and my belly and in a socially incomprehensible way, I became very proud of what I’d created.  Finding that pride gave me the peace and freedom needed for me to take responsibility for letting it go.

In coming to this place of peace with my belly I also have to fess up to some other thoughts about it.  Such as for years when I’d watch health channel or makeover shows about plastic surgery, or people with large growths being removed, the thought would enter my mind how nice it would be if they could just remove my belly for me.  Cut it out, suck it out, tuck it up . . . whatever, it all looked easier than trying to “lose” it from my old perspective of “diets don’t work”.

Now I must admit, I never truly focused on those thoughts, I poo pooed them instantly as not something I really wanted to experience.  But the idea that it might be something other than just fat did appeal to me.  That maybe there was something more going on than just fat, and thereby I wouldn’t be completely responsible (through my eating) for my belly being as big as it was. 

I also made many correlations between my massive belly and pregnancy.  Now I’ve never been pregnant, so I have a slightly romanticized idea of the whole process.  But I often likened where I’ve been lately with a spiritual sort of pregnancy.  Where instead of resulting in a new infant, I thought of it as giving birth to my new self.  It was a comforting analogy that jived easily with my huge tummy and romantic spiritual nature.

So as I dropped the weight “mostly from my belly” things inside there started shifting.  As silly as this sounds, there wasn’t as much room in there as there had been.  I had retained a lot of water in that massive belly, which was the first thing I released, and as the water started leaving, things started tightened up.  Until one quiet Sunday evening, I found myself in excruciating abdominal pain. 

I have no desire to go into the details of what transpired in the next few weeks.  But the gist of it is I found out that those little “wouldn’t that be easier” thoughts, combined with my other stronger desires . . . were very, very creative. 

I was told that I have a cyst, a huge cyst, the size of a soccer ball/watermelon/basketball (depending on the health professional I talk to) inside this huge belly of mine, and as the pounds have come off, it’s become easy to see what is left is as much fat, as cyst.

The moment I was told about the cyst, I instantly understood how the Universe and I together had created everything.  I saw how my wonderful Spiritual Guides inspired me to start releasing weight so that I’d discover this cyst.  I saw how I/my body created the cyst in answer to a strange but powerful combination of my thoughts, my desires and my vibration.

Of course, ultimately it has to be removed . . . surgically.  I’ve been going through tests, ultrasounds, CAT scans, various probing medical exams and doctor visits and sometime in the next few weeks I’ll have to go in for surgery. 

The good thing is the excruciating pain eased up, slowly over the course of about a week.  It came and was intense enough and lasted just long enough to force me to seriously investigate what was wrong.  (Though we never discovered what exactly was causing the initial pain.)   Now I just have symptomatic pangs occasionally, and I get tired very easily.  After working all day, I’m simply exhausted.  I’m being forced to learn how to take very good care of myself.  Even better than I was before I found out.

I also admit that it has helped me to release a few of my 43 pounds.  The pain during that first week helped me let go of 8 and the barium with the CAT scans helped me drop another 5.  Still I take responsibility for creating everything, so every ounce of the 43 pounds released are mine to be proud of too.

The funny thing is that as soon as I heard that indeed there is something going on inside there besides fat, I realized that I’m just as responsible creatively for the making the cyst as I am for creating the fat itself.  One or the other, it doesn’t matter, it’s my body and I create it all.

I was blessed with being able to actually see it on a computer monitor after the CAT scans.  And instead of horror, fear or any expected reaction, I felt this incredible sense of peace.  Like the angels were holding me, sending me love and waves of acceptance that this wasn’t an end it was simply part of my journey.

I realized that the cyst is a part of me too, it’s made up of my cells, my body produced it and those cells take direction from my thoughts, like all the other cells in my body.  It is absolutely nothing to be afraid of, only something created to experience and from which to learn.  I can’t begin to imagine what I’ll learn about personal strength, focus and my body itself from this experience.  But I’m open and allowing to all of it, whatever it brings.

I’ve even grown to love my big belly even more than I did before, when I experience a little ache or jab of pain from the cyst pushing against one of my organs or muscles, I gently rub the spot lovingly, like a pregnant woman who knows the birth will come soon.  Or maybe more like a person who has found a magic Genie lamp and knows that by gently rubbing the surface she will release the Genie who will grant her all her dreams in the form of 3 wishes.

See, I knew from the moment the technician and my Dr. told me about the cyst that this was just part of this glorious adventure of discovery I’m on, it’s all part of the loving life journey I’m personally creating. 

It’s not a bump in the road . . . it’s a scenic detour I didn’t anticipate, which will bring me unforeseen beauty I would not have wanted to miss.

Make peace with where you are. Appreciate your magnificent body as it is. Appreciate that it moves and that it is flexible and that it digests, that it assimilates. Accept the cellular metabolism, the cellular functioning. Your body is a veritable chemical factory. It is an amazing mechanism. It is morphing constantly into that which is new. It is constantly becoming. It will be whatever you ask it to be. It will be whatever you ask it and allow it to be. It will be whatever you want it and allow it to be. It will be whatever you ask and allow it.  It will be whatever you see it to be. It will be whatever you EXPECT it to be!  And most of you can't expect past what is.  That's your limitation.  You find it hard to expect past what is.  Stretch that expectation by listening, by feeling for it.  And when you start feeling . . . oh, if you could feel what Source expects for you . . . . and that's why so often you feels such strong negative emotion . . . that's that fear and inadequacy you describe.  When you look at yourself so differently than they way Source looks at you, when you don't expect good things from you . . . because Source IS expecting such wonderful things from you . . . there's a cross current going on . . .  You have to see as you want it to be.  Never mind what is.  What is does not mean diddly squat.  What is doesn't matter.  It's just a point in time, a momentary, manifestational indicator of how you've been thinking.  Think differently and it will shift.  IT will morph with your thoughts every single time.  Excerpted from an Abraham-Hicks workshop in Sedona, AZ on August 25th, 2007   (Abraham-hicks.com)

I’ll take you along with me.  I’ll write when I’m inspired to write and I’ll do my best to share as honestly and deeply as my sense of personal privacy will allow me.

In the meantime . . . I’m so proud . . . 43 pounds released!  Yee Haw!

Much Love,
Tigerlily