I gained about 25 pounds over the last year.  It was inevitable, because of what was happening in my life, I put my desires on hold for Allowing A Perfect Body, both as a goal for myself and for my Blog. 

I wasn't surprised, I've learned, on most subjects, if I don’t focus my thoughts strongly in one direction, I tend to move slowly in the other . . . and that’s exactly what happened.  For me, 25 pounds is not a great deal of weight, but it was enough that when I got on the scale I was at the highest weight I've ever been in my life.  And those last few pounds seemed to push me over some edge that had me feeling a great deal less comfortable physically.  I wasn't going in the direction I wanted so much to go, and my body was sweetly reminding me that for me it was the wrong direction.

Though, emotionally I wasn't upset about it in the least, I didn't berate myself for gaining.  I didn't scold myself for not being able to do it all, tend to my Mom and myself too. 

I was loving and accepting of myself.  In fact I was proud of myself for handling everything as well as I did, and for coming through one of the most stressful times of my life with Grace and ease and only gaining a few pounds.

I knew gaining weight as normal for me considering what had been happening in my life.  You see food was, after all, for most of my life the only way I knew to nurture myself.  And while for a couple of years now I haven’t felt the compulsiveness I always did in the past, from my years of studying Abraham (Abraham-Hicks.com) I knew my thinking on the subject hadn’t changed sufficiently to prevent gaining weight from happening when things were so stressful for me.  As in the past, I simply didn’t have the tools to choose another way.

However, when my responsibilities to my Mom ended, I began to feel a passion for creating and embracing a new chapter in my life.  I felt an intoxicating freedom and desire to focus fully on my own experience and my own needs.  It became a Spiritual need to change my body, while creating my deepest desires. 

I also began experiencing what I can only describe as a hyper spiritualism after Mom crossed.  I felt like having her in non-physical supercharged the currents of my connection.  And simply knowing I have such an amazing group of souls on the other side working for me, and cheering me on . . . well that simply humbled me and inspired me in a way I can’t begin to explain.

When my Grandmother said “Think of it as eating rainbows!” she gave me a huge gift.  The gift of fun.  The gift of allowing something that’s always been an “issue” for me to be easy.  The gift of new vision, new perspective and new joyful experience.

I felt as if a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders (puns are always intended here) and it was replaced by a sense of fun and delightful anticipation. 

I love thinking about what my Grandmother might inspire in me next.  When I take a bite of fresh cucumber and it tastes better than cucumber ever has in my life, I know my Grandmother is enjoying that cucumber through me too. 

Knowing along with me, my non-physical family are experiencing my life through me, gives me a sense of confidence I’ve never had before.  Like the answers to all my questions, even those I haven’t formulated yet, are already here for me.  All I have to do is relax and allow them to unveil exactly what I need as I need it. 

It brings with it an understanding that success is not just guaranteed, it’s inevitable.

What a powerful position from which to approach and achieve a life time goal.  A place where failure is “not an option”, in fact it’s not even considered.  The idea of it is not even available, because it’s ludicrous.

That’s how I’ve been feeling lately, and the answers, the guidance, the inspiration has been flowing in exquisitely.  And I am letting it all unfold Gracefully and gratefully.

I spent Memorial Day this year, the same way I would have if Mom were still here, I went to our town’s Memorial Day parade and spent the rest of the day tinkering around the house and releasing the past, preparing for a new chapter in my life.  Then on Tuesday morning, I started to loosely follow the Flex Points system of Weight Watchers.

I’ve been on the plan in the past and I’ve always known, when I got serious about allowing myself to release the weight, for me it was the tool that works, one I can enjoy.  I love that it doesn’t tell me what to eat, only gives me a structure of how to eat.  It gives me a foundation on which to build my own personal health and vitality plan, based on my own body, my personal desires, tastes and needs.

I have no desire to go to the meetings, or use them to hold myself accountable.  I know I’m much more capable of keeping myself encouraged than anyone else.  And to me “accountable” means surrendering my control to someone else

I’m not suggesting this plan is right for anyone else.  It might be, if you are like me, but I’ve learned that each one of us individually has to find the plan that is absolutely perfect for our own life.  One based on our experience, needs, desires and feelings.  And the only way to find that plan is to ask our Inner Guidance to lead us to it.

For me I love that on the Flex Point system there is no good and no bad list of foods, I choose from all of the abundant choices the Universe provides. 

I’ve learned that I have to have that freedom.  The minute I feel like anyone or any plan is telling me “you can’t eat this or that” I start feeling imprisoned and out of control.  That feeling is a warning signal for me, telling me it isn’t right for me and it will never last.

Freedom has to be the foundation for anything I do in my life.  I’ve just recently come to realize I must feel free to choose or not choose whatever I eat.  I have to feel like what I am doing is entirely my choice, that I’m not doing it because it’s written in a book, or suggested by an expert. 

I have to know if I’m choosing to eat carrot sticks, I’m doing it from an inspired place inside me, not because someone else believes they are what I should be eating to release weight.  

I can look at a list of foods that are considered healthy, and if I’m feeling that freedom, It will look like the most delicious list of foods I can imagine.  It can really look to me like a list of edible rainbows. 

If I’m not feeling that freedom, it will look like the most boring, tasteless list of foods on the planet.  The list doesn’t change, the foods don’t change, the difference is where my mind is, and how I’m feeling about my creative control of my own life.

It is not the action, not the food that you eat, that is the greater issue.  It is the vibrational stance from which you take your action.  There is a big difference between pushing against what you do not want, and relaxing into what you do want.  G 1/23/93  Excerpted from the Abraham-Hicks Daily Calendar page 339 (Abraham-hicks.com)

I also love the fact that Weight Watchers has another plan, if I get tired of this one, I can switch over to that one, and back again if I like.  I can tweak it and play with it and make it my own.

So far, it’s working beautifully for me.  I lost 27½ pounds in the first 6 weeks on my new plan.  It took me a year of unconscious eating to put on 25 pounds and 6 weeks of intentional eating to take them back off.  Not too bad!

Now, I’m customizing it to fit my life, turning it into my own.  I expect that will be an ongoing and fun passion for me, taking what they’ve created (bless them!) and sculpting it into exactly what works perfectly for me.

Until these last few months I never realized how important freedom was to me.  I never saw the absence of freedom as why “diets” never worked for me.  I’ve also started seeing ways in which freedom is the foundation of all the other areas of my life. 

I’m learning so much about myself by simply following my Heart’s Desire.

I’m so glad those of you reading this are sharing the journey with me

Much love,
Tigerlily