The lessons of surrender – God has my back.
I’ve been so involved lately in dealing with my Mother, who’s life is slowly winding up. I watch as she fades in and out of reality on occasion and see her strong spirit preparing her physical mind and body spiritually for this physical incarnation to end. As I watch the process as her caregiver, I’ve also been forced to accept that my own life is changing right along with hers. And while the changes will be much different for me, they will be just as powerful, just as pivotal to my life as crossing over is to hers.
I don’t feel sadness when I witness what is happening to her . . . to us . . . she’s had a full, long, happy and wonderful life. And she still has amazing life in her, which she fully lives, as much as she can, each day.
No . . . mostly it just feels so natural, the way it must be. One life changing, touching another, the waves they create effecting each other and expanding out to touch other lives. The circle of life itself.
I’ve been so involved in watching her circles that I haven’t had time to focus on my own. And most of the time that would be a bad thing, but in this circumstance, it isn’t. It is such an honor to go through this with her. Such an honor to spend this precious time and experience with her. I’ve put my life on hold in a way, as have my sisters, we’ve all come to realize what beauty there is in sharing, loving and experiencing fully whatever is happening.
I’ve had to put my thinking on hold, my desires on a back burner and trust the Universe to “have my back”. Between Mom, my family and The Universe, I don’t feel I have any power whatsoever over the timing of all this. An important lesson for me, patience, and surrender.
There are so many details I simply cannot deal with right now, and as I let go of them and trust God, they all seem to work out perfectly, on their own, without my attention or action.
A part of me has known that there are incredible lessons in this experience for me if I can focus on what is really important, have faith, surrender my fears and follow only inspired action. I’ve even had to learn to surrender my desires, to simply hand them over to the Universe to hold for me for a while.
I’m not capable of action the way I was in the past. I don’t know what each day is going to bring so action unless it’s inspired makes no sense. I don’t know when my life is going to completely change, so I am gently learning to live only for today. Mom is teaching me how to extract as much fun, love, joy and growth out of each and every moment as possible. I’m learning to do what feels right and not try to make anything happen, which is simply useless.
During this time, as I watch what has been the basis of my life for years, slowly walk her path away from me, I feel the need for even more change. I’ve had new dreams for a new business path for myself, I’ve been dreaming about eventually moving to a new state, new town, new area with new opportunities for the future. I want to leave old patterns of thinking, old habits and old issues in the past. To develop a new outlook, a new way of seeing my very life.
The deep and quietly insistent desire for newness has been gently building within me, growing and expanding for months now. As I hold on lovingly to what has been my life for so long, I’m surprised by the growing desire within me for new experiences, new faces, new patterns, new everything. It wraps around me in a sense of “someday” . . . when my work growth in this experience is done.
As I feel those strange new desires, I realize I am being prepared. It becomes clear that my dreams were simply not possible without major changes happening within my life. Changes I hadn’t been able to imagine. And honestly hadn’t been willing to make.
In order for my dreams to come to me, I have to allow almost everything in my life to change. Relationships, situations, circumstances, beliefs, habits, thinking, etc. I have to let go of where I am, if I want to move toward where I want to be. It doesn’t have to be difficult, or painful, or even quick . . . but change must happen. The old must be released to make room for the new.
“In order to fly, you have to give up the ground you are standing on.” Elia Wise
Something truly beautiful has happened thought . . . as I watch those natural circles of life Mom and I are experiencing together, it gives me a little glimpse into the ways in which Source has been working on my behalf. To see how The Universe has been creating the circumstances to facilitate my dreams. To feel the magnitude of the wonderful arrangements that have been created toward my desired life. While I was willing to surrender my desires and my life, for now, to focus upon someone I love . . . Source has been busy creating the perfect version of my life based on every desire I’ve ever had.
I realize that every time I’ve ever wished for anything, that wish has been heard. Every time I’ve ever tried on an article of clothing and wished I could fit into a smaller size, a more attractive design, a more comfortable fit . . . that wish was heard and honored. Every time I have wished for more money, or seen something I wanted to buy but couldn’t that wish, that item has been added to my life spiritually.
While I quietly tended to my Mother’s life, while I loved her and focused on her and quietly dreamed and wondered about my future . . . I wasn’t adrift . . . I was never alone. Every thought, every dream I had, was being heard, and each dream was noted and acted upon in my behalf. Those desires were added to the collection of all the rest of the desires in my life. Circumstances where being prepared, synchronicities were being arranged, the fairies of the Universe worked with love, preparing for when I would be ready to allow all of them into my life.
I think the most important thing I've learned lately is what my part in all of it is . . . to simply have total confidence that Grace has my back. To know that Source has a big, beautiful, multi-color, luscious picture of my perfect life. That even if I can't see it, it’s huge. It’s better than anything individually I’ve ever dreamed, and it’s as real as the life I’m living now. It’s being prepared for me and is ready whenever I am . . . to manifest.
My job is to feel the presence there, the love guiding me and gently directing me toward what I need to do to allow the abundant blessings already lined up for me. The wealth blessings, the health blessings, the blessings of growth, happiness and love.
My real job is to believe with all my heart, to love myself unconditionally and to follow the inspiration that is deep within me, knowing everything I’ve ever wanted is within my reach.
“Why move forward when it doesn't feel good, when you have the option of making it feel good BEFORE you move forward? Why be willing to take action when your energies are contradictory, when you have the option of waiting until you are in alignment before you take action? When your action is inspired from alignment, when you are tuned in, tapped in and turned on, you are clear minded, you are agile, you have all of the resources of your physical body. You have a cooperative Universe lining things up, you are powerful, you are more influential than a million who are not. We'd say, "It's a BETTER option!" Your energy alignment is EVERYTHING!
So in relationship to action... the rule of thumb is, make a decision, as best you can from where you are. And then line up with that decision. As you bring yourself into alignment, you will notice in time you can begin setting your vibration out ahead of time. Because the best of all worlds is to imagine it, and think about it, and feel good about it, and achieve vibrational alignment with the essence of it. And then in that complete alignment, you will receive impulses or inspiration. And there is a big difference between feeling the inspiration to do something and the motivation that you SHOULD do something.” Excerpted from an Abraham-Hicks workshop in San Francisco on July 28, 2007 (Abraham-hicks.com)
Ah, Tigerlily - this is such a beautiful expression of your ever evolving connection to Source - your choices in what to believe about this journey that you are taking with your mother, your sisters and with yourSelf - are creating a richness that is so powerful to me.
There is something liberating about being involving in the process of another's transition that allows you to become more fully yourself than you ever have before - this was one of the results of my father's death this past spring - and it is so clearly your experience here.
Thank you! for sharing these understandings and insights with us.
Emma
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Thank you so much Emma,
I'm so honored to be sharing this time of growth (for both of us) with my dear Mom and family, and also with my allowingaperfectbody.com friends too.
Much love,
Tigerlily
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Tigerlily
I want to tell you that those words you used to describe your mother process are the most lovable words I've ever read about surrendering to god.
Actually I love that expression that you used: Surrender to GOD
I always love to read your posts
Love
Ghassan
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Thank you Ghassan,
I'm so honored by your praise. I believe that surrendering to GOD is surrendering to ourselves. Letting go of self-judgment and seeing ourselves through God's eyes. Accepting the God in ourself.
When we do that we allow the self-love that is so incredibly rare in this world. Self-love and acceptance are the keys to everything we want, success, abundance, health, relationships, love . . . everything!
I'm not surprised that my dear, sweet Mom would want to be a blessed catalyst for me receiving such an important awareness as the beauty of surrender.
Love and Blessings,
Tigerlily
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This is all so true. Thank you Tigerlily for reminding me of HOW to surrender to GOD and the truth within this.
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Thank you so much Monica, I am so honored when others enjoy and benefit from me being blessed to share my experiences.
Blessings,
Tigerlily
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What a beautiful blog!!!
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Thank you!
I'm so glad you like my blog, lately I've been involved in family issues which have kept me from being as active with it as I want, but I'm determined to focus on it more and allow the flow of creativity and inspiration I crave.
I hope you will check back often.
Oh, and I loved your blog (http://www.gorgeousforgod.com) too, so powerful!
Thank you and have a blessed holiday season!
Tigerlily
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