Abraham (Abraham-Hicks.com) teaches as long as we hold judgments of other people, we block our own good from coming to us. 

While we indulge in our righteous indignation at someone taking up two parking spaces with their big, new vehicle, we assure not only that we aren't a match to a great space ourself, but living in that judgmental vibration actually blocks the abundance, love, health, joy, etc. we want in our lives too.  Abraham teaches it's simply not possible to judge . . . and allow . . . at the same time.  The vibrations cancel each other out. 

Talk about picking your battles!

I thought of how much time I was spending with my mind on how someone else was or "should be" acting, working, dressed, handling their own life, driving, parked, etc., etc., etc.

Once I understood the principal, I became very determined to eliminate as much of my own frivolous judgmental thinking as possible.  First I realized that many of the old patterned judgments that automatically came to me, had been taught to me by others.  For the most part, I'd not really taken the time to decide if they were really beliefs I cared about personally.  I mean does it really matter to me how someone else dresses or drives or parks?

I asked for guidance and I started catching myself mid-judgment . . . and thinking "is this something really important to me or am I just allowing an old patterned thought?"  Very often, I realized it was just old patterns of thought.  And I was surprised to find for the most part, I was becoming a much more allowing person.  I'm not perfect at it, but I've certainly come a long, long way in eliminating most of the judgments I had been taught in the past.  Judgments that never really fit me anyway. 

Especially the easy ones.  I mean do I really care how many spaces that car takes up?  Just this morning I promised myself I'd find new ways to take more steps each day, so I actually created their parking issue as a favor to myself, the Universe reminding me through their parking to park farther away and walk!

One of the most insidious areas of judgment I held most of my life, was for the fashion industry.  I grew up being ignored by it entirely.  When I was little there wasn't a variety of choices in clothing for chubby little girls.  Even as I grew older plus size clothing wasn't offered in any real variety or abundance.  Clothing sizes were limited for women and girls (and now that I think of it for boys and men to some degree) unless you fit into an fashion industry standard idea of average.

By the time I was in elementary school in order to get clothing that fit me properly, we had to buy things in the women's department and my Mom was always concerned about dressing me too maturely for my age.  She solved the problem by making most of my clothes.  However that gave her massive control over what choices I had to wear everyday, more than most young girls at the time. 

I grew up feeling ignored, judged and labeled by the entire fashion world, and for years I hated the whole concept of runways, fashion week, androgynous teenage models, fashion magazines and judgmental professionals I felt were vain, controlling and full of themselves.

The thing was . . . through it all, I loved clothes.  I developed my own sense of style based on what I liked most and I dressed as a statement of my personal boycott against a narrow minded clothing industry.  Around the time I got out of school, the garment industry lead by Lane Bryant, discovered the massive buying power of plus sized people, and slowly the doors (and departments) began opening with fashion choices in expanded size ranges.

Then, during my work on eliminating my judgmental thinking I realized in spite of the huge explosion of fashion choices for "other" sized people, I still harbored quite a bit of resentment against the whole idea of fashion.  I realized that I simply hated shopping for clothes, because none of the really cute clothing fit me and the clothes that did fit me were all unattractive in my eyes, matronly, ugly and all too common.  (I mean how many striped or floral tee shirts does a "plus sized" woman need?)   

The truth was my vibration was right where I had left it . . . feeling ignored, judged and labeled "plus", "queen" and "X(tra)" by an industry who wanted my money but who I felt didn't respect me. 

I realized my attitude, while righteous (and even deserved by them), had absolutely no impact the multi-billion dollar fashion world.  Zippo.  It only held me in a low, angry and judgmental vibration.  And every time I shopped for clothes or thought about the frustration, I only added to my vibration of not fitting in, feeling like a failure and pushing against.

I honestly didn't know what to do with all that frustration that had been simmering in me for all those years.  It's not like I could change my body immediately or the industry at all, but I was determined to forgive and move forward.

So I asked for inner guidance to show me how to make peace with it all and what I received surprised me.  The next time I was at an appointment where magazines were available, I grabbed a fashion magazine and I gave it a chance.  I opened it with a new eye, and I made an effort to look at the pages out of love, acceptance and even expectation . . .  I ended up laughing more than I expected.

I've got to say the world opened up for me one bit of inspired guidance at a time.  Many small things happened to help me understand that I had a choice to feel ostracized or to feel inspired.

Then the TV show Ugly Betty came on, and bless it . . . that show highlights the epitome of everything I had felt and vibrated for years.  As Betty fearlessly stood up to a very judgmental industry with a huge brace-face smile, and utter confidence . . . the show offered me the opportunity to laugh at the very attitudes which before had so upset me. 

There was even a line on one episode where Betty's friend, the dresser Christina says something to the effect of she believes fashion is good for the soul because of how it makes you feel about yourself.  When I heard that I realized it really is true.  At lease pretty clothes and feeling attractive is good for the soul, and make you feel good about yourself. 

With every episode I watched I laughed and became more accepting in my thinking.  Laughing at the absurdity of the very attitude that had annoyed me, offered me a huge opportunity to release it.  I learned to see my own judgment for what it was . . . just as narrow as theirs had been of people my size.

I realized in my way I helped create a world where fashion could prop itself up as ultimate authorities on what we should wear and "what not to wear".  Just as I helped create the same scenario with the weight-loss industry.  By my negative attention I had helped to create and expand them both vibrationally.

My new choice is to replace that negative attention with humor, understanding and acceptance.  Much of fashion may not be my cup of tea, but I no longer look down my nose at anyone in the fashion industry living and creating whatever experience they want to have. 

And by making my peace with them I learned to let the whole appearance based world off the hook too.  The diet industry "experts", the reality shows based on emotionally beating the weight off people by weighing and humiliating them in front of millions, and even the swimsuit clad beauty queens.

As Abe says . . . there is room in this world for all of us. 

In fact I now believe there's a special place in this world for beautiful, androgynous teenage models. 

Just like there is a special place for plus sized women (who still hate matronly striped and floral tee shirts) who dress in there own style because it's good for their soul and they like the way it makes them feel about themselves!
 
Much love,
Tigerlily