I started this part of my adventure by finding things to respect, then appreciate and eventually love about my body. 

One of the tools I used was standing in front of a large mirror and looking at myself until I could begin to see myself without judgment.  It took a while because I was so used to judging what I saw before me.  And sometimes I still lapse, but eventually I was able to first laugh and then relax and feel appreciation for what I saw.

It required looking past the reality of the image in front of me and seeing the deeper truth.  Looking for the beauty of my soul being reflected back at me.  Looking until I found evidence of me being a powerful expression of Grace in physical form.  

Not so easy to do, because having an abundance of extra weight usually equates to feeling powerless.  I never felt the connection between my actions and my body, much less my thinking/focus and my body.  Even after discovering LOA and becoming an Aber.

I was like most of us who have this amazing ability to damn ourselves for creating our “weight issue”, while not really believing that what we do creates or can change it.  We accept responsibility for “eating too much” or “eating the wrong things”,  or “not getting enough exercise” because we are used to accepting blame.  But we don’t believe that we actually have any power over our bodies.  We don’t honestly feel responsible because we don’t feel powerful.  Our thoughts usually are “I just can’t seem to change it”, “I can’t lose weight no matter what I do”, and “I’m powerless over my body”.

And in standing there looking at myself, trying to see the Source in me, it came in a way I didn’t expect.  I realized what I saw looking back at me, every single pound, every ounce and cell of it, was significant physical evidence of my own amazing creative power.

It wasn’t extra pounds of fat on my body staring back at me, it was pounds and pounds of proof that I am a magnificent creator.  If I refused to label or judge it as good or bad creating, and just saw it as creating, it was obvious evidence of how my focus on my beliefs about food, diets, exercise, etc. had created/attracted every bit of it to my body.

Abraham says from a Universal perspective there is no good creating and no bad creating, creating is creating and that the creations we label contrast are simply an opportunity to recognize and change our vibration. 

I realized in that moment that creating an abundance of anything is proof of our personal creative power.  Great weight, great wealth, great debt, great illness, great works of art, great wins, great losses, it’s all just creating on a large scale.

I know that sounds silly to anyone who has never looked at it that way before, because at first it still sounded rather silly to me.  But as a true LOA believer, I had to take responsibility for creating everything, not just the stuff I consciously wanted.  And the truth is that I magnificently created this extra weight on my body, every pound of it.  I did it with my thoughts, my beliefs and my vibrational attention and expectation. 

I had to admit that over the course of my life I have been a master at “creating” weight.  I mean an absolute genius at it.  I did an amazing job of focusing on thoughts about, vibrating and therefore attracting weight.  And I did it pretty darn easily too.   The more you do anything the easier it gets, even focus on something you don’t want.

“You don’t create things that you want . . . you create things that you give your attention to whether you want them or not.”  Excerpted from an Abraham-Hicks workshop in Los Angeles, CA on Saturday, April 7th, 2007  (Abraham-Hicks.com)

It has been a lifetime thing for me, from the time I was a small child and someone first made me aware of their feelings about my body being too chubby, and food being the “cause” I began to focus on and create more of it.  While I always deeply desired to be thin, trim and fit, I always felt and vibrated “chubby, fat, overweight”.  I attracted exactly what I had spent most of my life thinking about and pushing against . . . being fat.  The more I thought about being fat, not being thin, needing to lose weight, diets, pills, hating exercise, ill fitting clothes, others opinions of me, etc. etc. etc. the more I created all of that in my life.

I had to accept that I powerfully attracted exactly what I had focused upon all my life.  I could see the power of my own creative thoughts just by looking in the mirror.

Only for the first time in my life I saw it as something powerful, not powerless.  I saw myself as a magnificent creator.  I took credit for my amazing ability to focus, vibrate and create.  What a heady feeling it was, that was certainly something I could love about me.

Furthermore I realized that the heavier someone is, the bigger the “issue” they feel weight is in their life . . . the more powerful creator they are.  Yes . . . I’m saying that those people we see who we label as out of control, and grossly obese are some of the most powerful creators in the world.  It takes great focus, continual attention, passionate feeling and powerful thinking to create something that different from what most of the world experiences and approves.

While I’m not one for bothering with regrets generally, the thought occurred to me “what if” every moment of the time in my life I spent focusing on my “weight issue” I had instead spent focusing on something I was positively passionate about.  What could I have accomplished?  What could I have experienced?  What could I have earned? 

That thought led to me realize for the first time that that is exactly the type of passionate focus it will take to change what I’ve created, the same type of focus it took to create it.  Only this time, the passion is directed toward creating what I DO want.  Creating and experiencing my body in it’s ultimate state of health and perfection.

When we can take the “good or bad” judgment out of creating, which is exactly how Source sees it, and see it only for what it is, passionate, deliberate attention focused on a particular subject, we find our true power.

That was such a huge awareness for me.  After a lifetime of feeling powerless, that thought alone planted the seed of power in my life. 

Tigerlily