I’ve started to think of Abraham’s Upstream/Downstream as a metaphor for my weight going up and down.  When I’m in the downstream, I eat healthy, I don’t attach feelings to food, and I choose what I eat from a place of peace and expectation.  I feel good about myself and my body reflects my thinking and overall vibration by releasing weight.  When I’m in that zone, it feels easy to me to be there and stay there.  I feel strong, productive and connected.

When I’m in the upstream, I revert back to becoming this naughty, rebellious little girl who uses food to “get back” at everyone who has angered, hurt or frustrated her in her life.  I eat based on what is handy and sounds good to my compulsive mind.  I make choices based on the petulant emotions of a child who felt powerless in her own life.  Naturally my body reflects my thinking and overall vibration by creating more weight.

The problem with the upstream situation isn’t just that I’m not connected and therefore feeling bad about myself.  It’s also the fact that I’m not really getting back at anyone except myself.  None of the people in my past who hurt me and helped to launch this silliness in my life are in the least effected by how much weight is on my body.  When I’m thinking rationally I understand that fact.  But when I’m feeling compulsive, it feels like I’m getting some sort of revenge . . . ridiculous, misguided and pointless revenge.

Another problem is that I seriously don’t enjoy a thing I put in my mouth when I’m in the “upstream”.  I think my taste buds rebel against my self loathing vibration and shut down.  Food becomes a weapon I use, supposedly against others but mostly against myself.

Anyone who has never experienced this would say, “then why don’t you just stay in the downstream?”

It’s a good question, just not a simple one.  I think it’s partly because the downstream doesn’t feel as natural to me as upstream.  I wasn’t taught downstream as a child, I was taught “push against at all costs”.  Not that I was taught pushing against anything worked particularly, no one had any real idea of what would work, pushing against was simply the only option offered.

Now through Law of Attraction and Abraham, I’ve been introduced to other options.  However after a lifetime of pushing against my weight, simply staying on a downstream path doesn’t feel as natural to me as pushing against feels.

It’s like putting on a really ugly suit.  Think of a really bad suit that looks horrible, is ill fitting, has holes in places showing body parts you seriously don’t want to exhibit, is terribly stained, very old and really awful.  In spite of the fact that it binds in places, creates a draft in others, makes you look absolutely your worse . . . like an old, stained and tattered clown . . . who got run over repeatedly by the little car filled with 32 other clowns.  You slip into it without even thinking because you’ve worn it for so much of your life that it’s more comfortable than anything else.  And worse, when you’re not wearing it, you can’t imagine your life without it. It sits there, carelessly thrown across the chair, waiting for you to put it back on again.  It’s become a part of your identity.  Somehow allowed in your life without your conscious approval.

I don’t want to wear that suit anymore . . .

Abraham has taught me that the only way to change something I don’t want is to find and singularly focus on what I DO want.  So . . . from this moment forward I am going to reinvent my life, create an entirely new version of me.  One that is all the things I’ve always known, deep inside, I came here to experience.  I commit to seeing myself as someone who is always in the downstream.  I see myself as someone who cares about her body and nurtures it in the most healthy and loving ways.  I see myself as strong, determined and focused on being the best I can be.  I see myself as the spiritual being I’ve always been, but haven’t allowed in the reflection I see in the mirror.

I will find the way, I will be guided, I will enjoy the journey, I will succeed!

Much love to all of you,

Tigerlily

I’ve been floundering lately. Lost in my own life, my past and in that voice in my head that says “you can’t, what makes you think you can?” I have to admit, as much as Abraham says we have to love where we are in order for it to change, I find it very hard to love where I’ve been lately. It’s a frustrating place, filled with self doubt and feelings of powerlessness.

One thing I’ve learned these last couple of years is that in order to release weight, I have to stay in the vortex, I have to stay in the downstream flow, I have to consciously feel my connection. It’s just the only way for me to shut off the noisy chatter that sends me to food for all the wrong reasons.

When I am in the vortex and feeling connected and strong, I eat healthy, I eat to enjoy the food and to fuel my life. If I’m not actively staying in the vortex, I slip into mindlessness. Mindlessness inevitably leads to feelings of “I can have just a little of this and a little of that” which leads to feelings of guilt. Guilt leads to feeling disconnected and alone, which leads directly into obsessive eating. It’s such a short trip from feeling empowered and eating right to following that noise inside my head, which if I’m not connected, is always pushing me to eat, eat, eat.

I’ve learned for me, it’s pretty much all or nothing, I’m either in the vortex, with a positive mindset and eating healthy, or I'm headed in the direction of being out of control. That’s what I’ve been feeling lately, for quite a while, and I’m tired of it.

Thank Grace . . . today I woke up feeling stronger. The sense of "I've had enough" mixed with the budding sense of strength and determination. This happens to me occasionally, I’ll wake up feeling this way, but I've never known how to harness the determination and strength when it comes. Those feelings tend to arrive feeling ephemeral, uncertain and undependable.

But this time, I'm determined to find out how to encourage and nurture that part of me. I want to nullify the noise that says "I can't". But I know enough Abe to realize there is no way to nullify anything, we can only strengthen its opposite.

“The trouble with that is when you decide that you're going to deactivate a thought, you don't deactivate it, you activate it. When you say "I'm not going to think about that", you're thinking about that which you're not going to think about. Even when you say "I don't want to be sick, I'm going to think about wellness", when you approach the subject of your physical body when your dominant thought about it has been sickness, even though you try to do a Virtual Reality about wellness, you usually activate the thought of illness because that's the dominant thought relative to that subject. You see how it works?” Excerpted from the Abraham-Hicks workshop in Indianapolis, IN, on Tuesday, May 28, 2002

I’m thinking maybe I’m not so unfocused and weak as I’ve been convinced I am, << MORE >>

I am learning so much lately.  I’ve been learning what it’s like to not obsess over food.  I never even realized how much of an obsession food has been in my life until now.  My thought patterns were created and cemented in my head during childhood.  Only lately have I come to realized just how much of my waking hours were devoured by thoughts about food, actually eating and obsessing over losing weight.  (I also realized that I never, ever dream about any of that when I sleep, which I find very interesting.)  I guess to some degree I believed what I thought and felt about food was normal.  I didn’t realize that there was another way for me to think.  My thinking patterns were so ingrained in fact, that until they started changing due to the hypnosis, I honestly didn’t know the patterns were there, much less how destructive to my mind, heart and body they were.

 

As my thinking changes, my life is changing dramatically.  The weight is melting off, (30 pounds so far) but surprisingly enough, as it’s happened, it’s become secondary to me, which I never would have dreamed to be the case.  More important to me are the things I’m learning about myself.  Like that for the last few years, I’ve used food to avoid life itself.  And that actually feeling my feelings is so much better than stuffing them. 

 

Also, I knew like everyone, I could use a little more self-respect and self-love, but I never realized exactly how hard I’ve been on myself.  I didn’t see how constantly berating myself over not being able to lose weight in the past was beaten me down.  It was like a big dark cloud that hung over my life and I was so used to it being there that I didn’t even realize it was dark.  That feeling of overcast had become my default position with me smiling through the haze. 

 

I think part of the reason I was so oblivious to it was because in every other aspect of my life I’ve always been an optimist.  Regarding everything except my weight, it was my nature to find the bright side of things, because I never enjoyed feeling bad or indulging in self-pity.  When I found the Law Of Attraction through Abraham-Hicks, I discovered a whole philosophy based on feeling good.  No wonder it spoke to my soul the way it has. 

 

I understood that according to Abe, I can “be do or have” anything I want, yet for years I’ve grappled with why I couldn’t change my thinking to allow myself to let go of the weight once and for all.  It was like this big black hole for me and I couldn’t see a way out of it.  I now realize it’s because unless we know what we are thinking, we can’t change it.  I honestly wasn’t aware of how much of my mind was involved in my obsession or how negative and subversive my thinking was about myself. 

 

However as seeds of optimism, self-love and new thinking are being planted in my subconscious mind through hypnotherapy, I’ve started to become aware of my thoughts, they are coming to light.  It’s usually very subtle, I’ll just realize I’ve been thinking differently about something, or something has been easier.  Sometimes it comes in huge flashes of awareness and I’m dumbstruck how something a thought pattern I’ve felt for so long has changed and no longer applies to my life.  Or I will be delighted when I realize that I’m developing a genuine desire for something I never liked before or had any desire for in the past.

 

The basis of Law of Attraction is what you focus on, you attract.  But until hypnotherapy, I never understood I could change my thoughts, much less how to do it.  So discovering an active way to bring them to light has been wonderful for me.  I love hypnosis, I love how good I feel when I leave his office.  I love how my confidence is building, and how effortless that seems to feel.  I love getting to know myself better and feeling better and better in my own skin, my own life. 

 

I love that I don’t feel obsessive or compulsive about food and eating anymore.  I love that for the first time I can remember in my life, the black cloud is dissipating, it’s growing lighter and lighter and fading away. 

 

Much love,

Tigerlily

When I allowed the right hypnotherapist into my life, my life changed. Admittedly before meeting my therapist I wasn’t much of a believer in hypnosis. Not for any spiritual or intellectual reason, but because I’d been to two different ones in my distant past and neither of them produced a drop of positive results for me.

Both were a long, long time ago, and both were more therapeutic in process, as opposed to spiritual. They were very scripted in nature, passing along what they had been taught, by rote. There was no warmth, nor was there any real personal discussion about why I had come to see them. They knew the minute I walked in the door why I was there, and they proceeded with a almost monotone session, which I’m sure was the same with everyone else who walked in the door. I sincerely doubt either of them are still active in hypnotherapy anymore.

So I was surprised at my reaction when I first heard my sister talk about her experience with him. I knew instantly he had been sent to me as an answer, a blessing, a guide and teacher. My sessions with him are uplifting beyond words. They are deeply spiritual experiences for me, and he tells me the words which flow out of his mouth are all guided by my personal guides, my support team in non-physical.

I walk in his door feeling good about myself, but I walk out feeling euphoric, filled with confidence, connection, and a feeling of being loved that always has my feet a couple inches off the ground. He reflects, like a mirror, my connection back to me. He sees me as the spirit I am inside and reminds me to see myself as that spirit too. We talk about the things I want to change in my life and he instantly sees me as changed already, then he reinforces that changed person in my mind. My visits are highlights in my life right now, guiding me, showing me who I really am and springboarding me to change. And the even more wonderful thing << MORE >>

Well I’m so proud to report that I’ve released 17 pounds in the last month! I'm very proud, Yeah me!!!

Yet I have to admit that sometimes I feel like it takes so much effort to stay focused and think positively about releasing weight. Sometimes it feels like a huge, continuous and tiring effort to believe in myself and my capability to ever do it permanently. Or I guess, more honestly, it just feels so much easier to lapse back into old thinking.

When I think about my whole lifetime of thinking in terms of “I’ll never get the weight off”, “I’m not strong enough”, “I’ll always be fat”, “I don’t have what it takes”, I realize that I’m still just dealing with momentum. I know when those thoughts come up that it’s only my “false self” speaking, but it makes me wonder when those thoughts will become quieter than my new thinking of belief in myself and “I can do this!” When I really look at the incredible amount of passionate and even dispassionate negativity I’ve dumped upon myself in my life, I realize it makes sense to be asking these questions. And taking a little while to get to where my optimism and faith in myself are more ingrained and comfortable to me than the negative patterns of the past is normal.

I remember Abraham-Hicks talking about how sometimes we don’t feel like we are getting anywhere, even after working to change our thinking, but it’s just the ending of slowing of negative momentum. They compare it to a semi-truck barreling down the highway, and how it takes some time for the truck to stop, much less turn completely around. For those of us who’ve had years of patterned thinking it can take some time to “slow down the truck”. As usual they said the answer is to turn away from thoughts of negative momentum and focus instead on the momentum you are building, the goal you are building momentum toward.

Again I realize it’s all about belief. When my mind starts going to that place where it seems hard, in that moment is the answer to everything. Because in that moment I get to make a choice to feel the heaviness of habit or to choose to look for the lightness of faith. In that moment lies the biggest blessing this life has to offer us, the gift of choice. The choice to believe that in faith all answers are easy.<< MORE >>

Hello,

Well I’ve been feeling very lost lately, for months in fact. Knowing that I have a purpose in this life, yet not being able to figure out exactly what it is. I know it’s all tied up with releasing weight and allowing my body to find it’s own place of perfection. But I haven’t been able to overcome all the old patters, habits and thinking that has gotten me to where I am, the heaviest I’ve ever been in my life. Even with years of Abraham-Hicks behind me, I haven’t been able to simply “think” my way to allowing my perfect body to happen. I feel like so many people who sit in the hot seat at an Abraham-Hicks seminar and say the teachings have helped them in every aspect of their lives except releasing weight. I’ve learned allot, and I’ve experienced periods of success, but I haven’t been able to stay focused and truly change my thinking and therefore my life permanently.

I’ve been at a crossroads lately, praying for inspiration, motivation and guidance. Asking Source for direction to the answers I need to get back into the allowing flow of eating healthy, of feeling powerful and in control of my life, and back on track, or rather, and better, to find a new track.

Then one quiet afternoon, my sister mentioned something to me that instantly gave me hope. She told me she had been to a Psychic Fair and met a man who gave her and my nephew readings about their past lives. She said the man was incredible and he’s also a hypnotist. As she talked about how wonderful he had been, a realization grew in my soul. I knew to the core of my being, here was one of the answers I'd been asking for, Source was coming through. I immediately made my first appointment. That was about a month ago, and seeing him over the last few weeks has been truly amazing.

How I think about myself, about my past, about releasing weight, and about my own power to create my life has begun to change, from the inside out. << MORE >>

Hello,

I’ve had some big lessons lately in the power of decision. There is simply nothing more powerful than making a determined and definite decision about something. For me, it’s usually derived from the feeling of being entrenched in contrast to the point where there feels like there is no other answer. When I finally do stomp my foot down and decide that I will create something different, it’s truly an amazing . . . feeling at least for a while . . .

Power In Decision

You could not begin to decide what is wanted if you did not have the contrast of what is not wanted—and from your broader Nonphysical perspectives, as creators, you understand that what a decision is is a literal focusing of Energy. In other words, everything is about Energy, and the way you express it, the way you focus it, the way you channel it, the way you guide it, the way you utilize it, the way you become a part of it, the way you get involved in it. The way you become a creative force, utilizing Energy, is by your perspective, by your belief, by your attention, by your focus, by your decision. Can you feel the difference in the power in saying, “I would like to have that or I want that” and “I’ve decided.” In decision, there is simply a focusing of Energy, and our dominant intent, as we are interacting with you here—is to help you understand, without any question whatsoever, how to know, how to sense or feel, whether you are a vibrational match to your own decision. Excerpted from the Abraham-Hicks Quarterly Journal - Oct/Nov/Dec 1997

The decisions I’ve been making lately are as varied as the many aspects of my life. But none is so strong within me as the decision that I WILL RELEASE THIS WEIGHT ONCE AND FOR ALL! I am simply through thinking in terms of “trying”, or “hoping”. I have decided this physical incarnation of mine will not end in me still wanting to be thin, I will accomplish my goal and live as a thin person for the rest of my time in physical. I will do it. I will experience that reality.<< MORE >>

Happy New Year!

I'm back to enjoying eating healthy!

It’s not a New Year’s resolution, it’s more of a flat out, I’ve had enough . . . it’s time to create something different decision.

For me, 2009 was about taking Spiritual responsibility for my life and seeing myself as the creator that I truly am. About accepting that I’ve created every aspect of what I’m living and even bigger for me . . . accepting that I can change and recreate every aspect of it anew.

That second part has been the hard one for me. I don’t know how to explain but it’s easy for me to accept that I’ve created where I am, but not so easy to believe that I can create something different. I know that sounds silly, but it’s how I’ve felt in the past. 2009 has been about me coming into my own power, me finally being able to see that I am the creator, I am the one who chooses what I experience.

So a couple of days ago, I stepped on the scale, I knew I was getting up there, and I wasn’t surprised that the scale reflected back to me the highest weight of my life. I’ve regained everything I released before and 10 pounds on top of that. I’m only 20 pounds away from a benchmark I never, ever, EVER want to experience. In seeing the number on the scale and accepting responsibility for obtaining it, I began to feel a quite determination. I felt determined to stop the upward climb I’ve been on and instead<< MORE >>

Happy Holidays,

I’m huge! I'm bigger than I’ve ever been before in my life. And yet my weight, recently has became an equally huge gift to me. I’ve mentioned this before, that when I look in the mirror I cannot deny what a powerful creator I am simply because of physical proof of the amount of extra weight on my body.

Creating is creating and every ounce is there, staring back at me as evidence that I am a powerful creator. Not creating what I want necessarily, but powerfully creating what I’ve been focused upon for all these years.

I look around and most people couldn’t possibly eat enough to get to where I am, weight wise, today. With my mind I have turned my body into a fat storing machine extraordinaire. Oh, I know the average American is overweight, but the majority of them are between 20 and maybe 100 pounds overweight. I’m not talking about average, I’m talking about extraordinary weight.

I know this is going to sound funny, but just as a professional athlete must believe in their ability to be successful, they must use mental focus and determination to obtain success, a truly fat person uses the same skills, they just don’t do it consciously. To really be extraordinarily fat, one must believe in their ability to be fat wholeheartedly. Like the athlete must believe in their ability to win, fat people must believe that fat is a << MORE >>

Hello Friends,

I have been all over the map lately with releasing weight and everything else in my life. I’m in a place of big upheaval and I am so welcoming the changes that are coming. I’ve been asking for fresh awareness for a while now and it’s coming in from every direction. The wonderful thing is that as it comes in from each area of my life, I can see how it’s all interconnected.

This Spiritual/Physical life is like a tapestry with a million different colored threads coming together to create an amazing picture. I’m not too sure about the people who actually create tapestries, but in my case, I can never tell how one colored thread is going to interact with another, but I’m beginning to understand they are all connected. Each one of them a path to the answer to the others.

What I’m trying to say here is that it’s come to my awareness lately that all of the areas of my life that I’m less than thrilled with are all part of a Spiritual plan to guide me toward the one big answer to them all. I’m beginning to see that there is only one answer. Which Abraham-Hicks has been saying for years.

Someone said, "I have 27 questions." And we said, we have one answer: You like knowing that you are the creator of your experience. You like knowing that everyone else is too. You like knowing that Source supports you in everything that you desire, and that there is nothing that you can identify, whether you articulate it or not, that the Universe withholds from you. All things are given in the moment that you ask. When you are specific about what you want, and you find that Path of Least Resistance, and Energy flows through you toward your inspired idea--that is life at its very best. Excerpted from Abraham-Hicks Stop Fixing And Start Savoring

Quite honestly the simplicity of their message sometimes tends to be too simple for me, I’ve found recently that it’s a little more complex for me than “just look for the better feeling thought”. I’ve been doing that for years and there haven’t been the big changes in my life for which I've been looking. Not the changes I’ve been wanting anyway and I’ve never been able to figure out what is blocking me.<< MORE >>