Yes, my friends, it’s true, I’ve released 43 pounds since I started my new regime the day after Memorial Day.  That’s 43 pounds in three months.  All with eating whatever I wanted, no bariatric surgery, no starving myself, and no exercising (well . . . not yet, I know that will come in time). 

I’d say that’s a pretty darn good way to spend my summer!

When I started this I couldn’t look at the whole picture, it was simply too overwhelming so I set up a first goal to release 50 pounds.  Since I know it’s important to set clear goals, my intention was that it be “mostly belly fat”.  That’s where I need to release it most.  However I said “mostly” because I wanted to stay open minded and trust my body to release it from wherever it needs to come off me first.

So I’m almost to my first goal and I admit it feels really wonderful.  My clothes are all getting big, or at lease very loose and comfortable, and I feel much better.  I’m also starting to see the beginning evidence of a female shape to my body again.

This should give you some indication as to how huge I was/am.  43 pounds gone and I’ve not really gone down a whole size, I’m still wearing the clothes I was, they just fit me much better.  Not to downplay how important letting go of 43 pounds is, because it’s wonderful.  I look much, much different/better when I look in the mirror.  However, I still have lots and lots of pounds to release.

So anyone who thinks that the 20, 40, 60, 80, 100+ extra pounds they see in the mirror is intimidating, well darlings, don’t sweat it.  Even after 43 pounds, I still have more to release than you do, and if I can do it, so can you!!!

The surprise part however is that I’ve attracted/created one little glitch. 

See for years I’ve had this huge belly.  Think of 9 months pregnant all the time, or a beer belly extraordinaire.  I have one of those belly’s that people see on someone else and they go “tisk, tisk, what a shame.  How did she ever let herself get that way?” 

There’s a medical term for it, but I honestly find the term so repulsive and degrading I wouldn’t use it if my life depended upon it.  I spent a very long time being ashamed of my belly.  Lowering my eyes when someone would look at me with ridicule in theirs.  Wishing it would just go away.  Wondering how it got so big, when it felt like I blinked and went from overweight to huge.  I blame it for causing the back pain I’ve experienced for the last few years.  I knew carrying the huge weight of pure fat on my front caused excess strain to my back.  Yes, I had lots of negative feelings about it,  not the least of which were my feelings of helplessness on how I could ever get “rid of it”. 

Eventually though with Abraham I learned to look at my massive belly and see it as positive evidence of my sensational creative power.  I created something rare in this world of six pack abs, navel rings and flat bikini/Speedo stomachs.  Though  I created it mostly unconsciously, I eventually learned to take creative responsibility for it none the less.  It’s my body, and my belly and in a socially incomprehensible way, I became very proud of what I’d created.  Finding that pride gave me the peace and freedom needed for me to take responsibility for letting it go.

In coming to this place of peace with my belly I also have to fess up to some other thoughts about it.  Such as for years when I’d watch health channel or makeover shows about plastic surgery, or people with large growths being removed, the thought would enter my mind how nice it would be if they could just remove my belly for me.  Cut it out, suck it out, tuck it up . . . whatever, it all looked easier than trying to “lose” it from my old perspective of “diets don’t work”.

Now I must admit, I never truly focused on those thoughts, I poo pooed them instantly as not something I really wanted to experience.  But the idea that it might be something other than just fat did appeal to me.  That maybe there was something more going on than just fat, and thereby I wouldn’t be completely responsible (through my eating) for my belly being as big as it was. 

I also made many correlations between my massive belly and pregnancy.  Now I’ve never been pregnant, so I have a slightly romanticized idea of the whole process.  But I often likened where I’ve been lately with a spiritual sort of pregnancy.  Where instead of resulting in a new infant, I thought of it as giving birth to my new self.  It was a comforting analogy that jived easily with my huge tummy and romantic spiritual nature.

So as I dropped the weight “mostly from my belly” things inside there started shifting.  As silly as this sounds, there wasn’t as much room in there as there had been.  I had retained a lot of water in that massive belly, which was the first thing I released, and as the water started leaving, things started tightened up.  Until one quiet Sunday evening, I found myself in excruciating abdominal pain. 

I have no desire to go into the details of what transpired in the next few weeks.  But the gist of it is I found out that those little “wouldn’t that be easier” thoughts, combined with my other stronger desires . . . were very, very creative. 

I was told that I have a cyst, a huge cyst, the size of a soccer ball/watermelon/basketball (depending on the health professional I talk to) inside this huge belly of mine, and as the pounds have come off, it’s become easy to see what is left is as much fat, as cyst.

The moment I was told about the cyst, I instantly understood how the Universe and I together had created everything.  I saw how my wonderful Spiritual Guides inspired me to start releasing weight so that I’d discover this cyst.  I saw how I/my body created the cyst in answer to a strange but powerful combination of my thoughts, my desires and my vibration.

Of course, ultimately it has to be removed . . . surgically.  I’ve been going through tests, ultrasounds, CAT scans, various probing medical exams and doctor visits and sometime in the next few weeks I’ll have to go in for surgery. 

The good thing is the excruciating pain eased up, slowly over the course of about a week.  It came and was intense enough and lasted just long enough to force me to seriously investigate what was wrong.  (Though we never discovered what exactly was causing the initial pain.)   Now I just have symptomatic pangs occasionally, and I get tired very easily.  After working all day, I’m simply exhausted.  I’m being forced to learn how to take very good care of myself.  Even better than I was before I found out.

I also admit that it has helped me to release a few of my 43 pounds.  The pain during that first week helped me let go of 8 and the barium with the CAT scans helped me drop another 5.  Still I take responsibility for creating everything, so every ounce of the 43 pounds released are mine to be proud of too.

The funny thing is that as soon as I heard that indeed there is something going on inside there besides fat, I realized that I’m just as responsible creatively for the making the cyst as I am for creating the fat itself.  One or the other, it doesn’t matter, it’s my body and I create it all.

I was blessed with being able to actually see it on a computer monitor after the CAT scans.  And instead of horror, fear or any expected reaction, I felt this incredible sense of peace.  Like the angels were holding me, sending me love and waves of acceptance that this wasn’t an end it was simply part of my journey.

I realized that the cyst is a part of me too, it’s made up of my cells, my body produced it and those cells take direction from my thoughts, like all the other cells in my body.  It is absolutely nothing to be afraid of, only something created to experience and from which to learn.  I can’t begin to imagine what I’ll learn about personal strength, focus and my body itself from this experience.  But I’m open and allowing to all of it, whatever it brings.

I’ve even grown to love my big belly even more than I did before, when I experience a little ache or jab of pain from the cyst pushing against one of my organs or muscles, I gently rub the spot lovingly, like a pregnant woman who knows the birth will come soon.  Or maybe more like a person who has found a magic Genie lamp and knows that by gently rubbing the surface she will release the Genie who will grant her all her dreams in the form of 3 wishes.

See, I knew from the moment the technician and my Dr. told me about the cyst that this was just part of this glorious adventure of discovery I’m on, it’s all part of the loving life journey I’m personally creating. 

It’s not a bump in the road . . . it’s a scenic detour I didn’t anticipate, which will bring me unforeseen beauty I would not have wanted to miss.

Make peace with where you are. Appreciate your magnificent body as it is. Appreciate that it moves and that it is flexible and that it digests, that it assimilates. Accept the cellular metabolism, the cellular functioning. Your body is a veritable chemical factory. It is an amazing mechanism. It is morphing constantly into that which is new. It is constantly becoming. It will be whatever you ask it to be. It will be whatever you ask it and allow it to be. It will be whatever you want it and allow it to be. It will be whatever you ask and allow it.  It will be whatever you see it to be. It will be whatever you EXPECT it to be!  And most of you can't expect past what is.  That's your limitation.  You find it hard to expect past what is.  Stretch that expectation by listening, by feeling for it.  And when you start feeling . . . oh, if you could feel what Source expects for you . . . . and that's why so often you feels such strong negative emotion . . . that's that fear and inadequacy you describe.  When you look at yourself so differently than they way Source looks at you, when you don't expect good things from you . . . because Source IS expecting such wonderful things from you . . . there's a cross current going on . . .  You have to see as you want it to be.  Never mind what is.  What is does not mean diddly squat.  What is doesn't matter.  It's just a point in time, a momentary, manifestational indicator of how you've been thinking.  Think differently and it will shift.  IT will morph with your thoughts every single time.  Excerpted from an Abraham-Hicks workshop in Sedona, AZ on August 25th, 2007   (Abraham-hicks.com)

I’ll take you along with me.  I’ll write when I’m inspired to write and I’ll do my best to share as honestly and deeply as my sense of personal privacy will allow me.

In the meantime . . . I’m so proud . . . 43 pounds released!  Yee Haw!

Much Love,
Tigerlily

        

. . . you can’t make any mistakes as you find you way to what is perfect for you, if something doesn't work, it wasn't wrong, it was just something you tried and discarded.

It's not wrong to taste a new food. If it tastes bad to us we don't blame ourselves for tasting it, we just spit it out and try something else.

You just follow your guidance and fine tune your choices until you find what inspires you most and what feels most like your very own answers.

And even when we find the answers that work for us, life continually changes so we are always in a state of trying new things and letting go of old ones that no longer fit us. It’s an ongoing adventure and we simply can’t get it wrong.<< MORE >>

Yes . . . my heart’s desire is to embrace once and for all this aspect of my life. To do whatever is necessary to allow it to manifest physically for me. To experience whatever adventure is in it for me, and to put it behind me once and for all and move on to other adventures. It is also to share my adventure and what I learn from it along the way with other enlightened people who want answers too. Those thoughts stirred my soul in ways I can’t put into words.

Sonia taught me to respect my desire simply for belonging to me, for being mine. Not to judge their feasibility or the degree of effort, and not to think about how long it might take, but to embrace them, respect them, celebrate them and begin the process of nurturing and creating them.

With that understanding came a huge change in my perspective. I started seeing Allowing My Perfect Body as my passion, my purpose, not my curse. I started allowing the possibility that for me, this issue isn’t an issue at all, but a blessing. A huge blessing holding many, many layers of blessings within it’s depths. I started thinking about sharing it with other people facing the same confusion and frustration and suddenly the feelings as well as the words started pouring out of me again. And that release feels so good. << MORE >>

I’ve learned that I have to have that freedom. The minute I feel like anyone or any plan is telling me “you can’t eat this or that” I start feeling imprisoned and out of control. That feeling is a warning signal for me, telling me it isn’t right for me and it will never last.

Freedom has to be the foundation for anything I do in my life. I’ve just recently come to realize I must feel free to choose or not choose whatever I eat. I have to feel like what I am doing is entirely my choice, that I’m not doing it because it’s written in a book, or suggested by an expert.

I have to know if I’m choosing to eat carrot sticks, I’m doing it from an inspired place inside me, not because someone else believes they are what I should be eating to release weight.

I can look at a list of foods that are considered healthy, and if I’m feeling that freedom, It will look like the most delicious list of foods I can imagine. It can really look to me like a list of edible rainbows.

If I’m not feeling that freedom, it will look like the most boring, tasteless list of foods on the planet. The list doesn’t change, the foods don’t change, the difference is where my mind is, and how I’m feeling about my creative control of my own life.

It is not the action, not the food that you eat, that is the greater issue. It is the vibrational stance from which you take your action. There is a big difference between pushing against what you do not want, and relaxing into what you do want. G 1/23/93 Excerpted from the Abraham-Hicks Daily Calendar page 339 (Abraham-hicks.com)<< MORE >>

For now I want to say that we all have a Spiritual circle of angels, family, friends and spiritual beings watching over us. I’ve been blessed by my Mom with a deep understanding of my connection to them. And blessed by Ann with the honor of having talked to them and feel my connection to them in a new, incredibly deep way.

I know that we all have it. We each have our own personal connection to Spirit, and to all of non-physical, all we have to do is believe it, nurture it, and allow it.

And tapping into that strength, perseverance, humor and love has filled me with an almost steel like resolve, that I know I can do anything . . . absolutely anything . . . to which I put the creative force of my mind and the power of my spirit.

It’s taken me a long time to get to this place of complete knowing and confidence . . . a lifetime. But the feeling is definitely worth the wait.<< MORE >>

In the meantime while I waited for my appointment, I was surprised by growing desires in me to eat healthier. I was feeling more intrigued by brightly colored peppers than I was a brightly colored bag of chips. I noticed feeling more satisfied with a salad, and truly surprising . . . less dressing . . . than I was with a serving of chili cheese fries. I was really enjoying the changes in me and the feeling of surprise they ignited in me. I became enamored with that feeling of being surprised and I wanted more, bigger, I wanted to feel astounded. I had felt it a few times lately, and before that I hadn’t felt that particular emotion for a very long time. That feeling of absolute awe. The feeling of something bigger than all of us . . . in control . . . strutting her stuff for out benefit. That feeling of delightful surprise mixed with knowing and awe. I had been asking Grace to astound me for a week or so. I didn’t try to put boundaries on it, or a timeframe, I just asked Spirit to astound me in delightful ways and then I accepted that I had been heard and I waited in expectation for when and what would come . . .

. . . I’ve only seen a few rainbows in my life and I’ve never seen the full arch from one part of the horizon to the other. I’d seen pictures of them and shot out rockets of desire to see one myself one day. But I never dreamed, in answer to my vague asking, God would provide such a gift to all of us who saw it that day. This wasn’t just a matter of “wow that’s cool” for me, it was absolutely one of the most amazing natural experiences of my life (so far). And to have it happen in succession with the tire blowing and knowing it was all an answer to my asking . . . well I was pretty much in a state of wonderful shock. My request had been most profoundly answered and done so in a way that was much, much bigger and grander than I ever could have dreamed. I took it as a sign that if I just kept focusing on my wonderful life, be grateful for every aspect of it, and leave the details to Spirit, the how’s and the when’s, my life too would turn out much bigger, much grander than I could ever dream.<< MORE >>

It was a beautiful experience watching her transition over the course of a year or so, from elderly but functioning woman to bedridden, and sincerely ready to cross on to what is next. And I know she took that long, slow path for me, for my sisters and our family. To give us time to adjust to the idea of life without her. Also to give my sisters time, like I had had for years, to say everything they needed to say to her. To give us all time to lavish love on her the way she always lavished it on us.

I am selfishly grateful that she took that long, slow path, when it was obvious all along she could have left at any time, skipping so much apparent discomfort, pain and frustration. It was also obvious to me that she was sticking around because she wanted to continue to be a brilliant Mom, she wanted to pass along one last, continuing lesson in strength, love and family. << MORE >>

I’ve been on my Spiritual path all my life and it’s only been since finding Abraham (Abraham-Hicks), that I started to understand what faith, belief, desire and expectation are all about and how they work together.

Faith got lost to me when I found Abraham, the word faith just didn’t seem to fit into my new ideas of life. It felt old, like it was part of my past, old, outdated religious doctrine I'd learned from childhood that didn't fit anymore. So belief became my touchstone. Then I realized that it didn’t matter what word I used, belief or faith. I am a woman of spirit who believes in everything, a woman who believes deeply in miracles, in Source, in everything . . . at least . . . everything good!

Still, believing miracles happen . . . isn’t enough necessarily to attract them to me. Belief is like a candle that must be lit. Desire and expectation are match and flame to belief, the three work together and become creative. I must believe whatever I want is possible, I must have strong desire for it and I must live in a attitude of positive and delightful expectation of it. It’s a trinity. << MORE >>

For most of my life I’ve heard people bemoan the “issue” of the last ten pounds of any weight loss experience. Books have been written about how to lose them. Articles published on the physiology of why they are the most difficult. Experts have chimed in on what they believe works and what doesn’t. The only thing everyone seems to agree on is some illusive plateau surrounding those last few pounds that supposedly make releasing them next to impossible.

We are counseled by the experts to dread the time when we will have no choice but to step up our cardio, increase our strength training and/or change whatever has been working for us so far to lose weight, in order to fool/trick our bodies into letting go of those most obstinate last ten pounds.

Even as we make headway in releasing huge amounts of body weight, we are solemnly warned, and lead to believe the last “10” pounds will be harder than all the rest combined. It’s a milestone we are persuaded to face with trepidation, as if our bodies are silently planning to attack for us just before we arrive at victory.

This pervasive attitude became obvious to me recently when I saw a thin, beautiful and very young “diet” professional talking in earnest on TV about the subject. She was young enough to be fresh out of college and looked like she had been selected more for her TV appropriate appearance than for any possible experience and true understanding of what people face when losing weight.

It became obvious as she talked that she had never carried 10 extra pounds of weight in her life . . . except for possibly the weight of the school books from her education which was her claim to expertise on the subject. She came across as empathetic, as she extolled at length the difficulty those last ten posed for others.

Bless her clueless little heart . . . and I mean that with all of mine. Because for the first time, as I listened to her, I saw the situation from my Abraham-Hicks and Law Of Attraction perspective, and I simply had no choice but to laugh. The ridiculousness of that common belief and the pervasiveness of it suddenly clarified in my mind.

Immediately I realized those last pounds are only harder if we believe they are harder. Let me provide an example. << MORE >>

"Do, or do not. There is no 'try’." Jedi Master Yoda - Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back

There is also no “if” . . .

Recently I’ve discovered this very important fact. “If” is an insidious little word, but the concept behind it kills. It kills dreams, it kills inspiration, it kills confidence, it kills momentum, it kills enthusiasm. Now as an Aber I realize there is no permanency to killing something, since there is no death or end. So while “if” kills . . . it’s not a permanent situation. It’s like the cartoons when we were children where Wile E. Coyote is smashed by his own anvil, and he just rises back up, dazed but not dead. Whatever momentum, enthusiasm, inspiration we have that “if” kills can be regained, re-inspired, re-enthused, it can be re-energized again.

However, I don’t know about you but I don’t want to go through my life that way, carefully creating and nurturing my momentum on something I want with all my heart and then letting two little letters eat away at it only to have to build it back up again. Even if it gets easier each time, I don’t want to sabotage myself unconsciously anymore. Those two little letters when put together create havoc creatively and I simply don’t want to give them that kind of power in my life.<< MORE >>